“Not every opportunity is meant to be a yes, and leadership means knowing and honouring the difference”
When Saying No is the Right Kind of Growth
A few years ago, I would have said yes without hesitation. Proposal drafted. Calendar booked. Team ready to go.
This time, I didn't.
The potential client was a well established and connected coach. Experienced, respected, ready to invest in branding and a new website. Eager to move forward and on the surface, seemingly aligned with the kind of work The Mindful Facilitator does.
Yet something didn't quite sit right. Not because they weren't kind or capable. But because the energy, direction, and values didn't match the next chapter I’m building for The Mindful Facilitator and for the founders we work with.
I paused. I trusted that flicker of unease….and I said no.
Why I said No: It wasn't about capability - it was about timing
What I sensed was that they weren’t ready for the kind of work we do. It wasn’t about their capability, it was about timing. No amount of design or strategy can create clarity if someone isn’t ready to see it.
Saying yes in that moment would have created frustration instead of momentum, and it would have drained the space we need to serve the founders who are ready.
Sometimes leadership means protecting that space and the integrity of our work. Even when, as a founder under pressure to grow, saying no doesn’t feel easy.
The hiring analogy: when a misaligned fit costs more
I often think about how similar it is to the hiring process. The lessons I used to coach leaders on over the years when recruiting their teams. I’ve also been in leadership roles where I inherited teams with poor behaviours, or where factors outside of my control pushed me to hire someone who intuitively I knew wasn't quite the right fit.
Sometimes we try to make it work. Yet, misaligned hires always cost more in the long run with hours of performance management, cultural friction, and sometimes the painful process of letting someone go. We override that feeling because we feel the urgency “we need someone now, we’ll make it work, they’ll grow into it”. For a moment, it might look fine on the surface. Yet soon the cracks appear and it could have been avoided by trusting your gut in the first place.
In small business and client work, those signs matter more.
There's no buffer. No back up team. No spare capacity to absorb in a large team.
Every client or hire who doesn't entirely ‘fit’ doesn't just take up time, it takes up space. Creative. Emotional. Precious strategic space.
“The cost of misalignment is magnified. It isn't just financial, it's energetic.”
It seeps into your schedule and pulls your focus away from the work that matters. Slowly it chips away at your momentum, affects your other clients and your business strategy and personal clarity.
Founder stories we don't talk about enough
Across co working tables, founder meet ups, and quiet voice notes sent after client meetings, I’ve lost count of the stories I hear over and over again:
- “I knew they weren't the right fit, but I said yes anyway”.
- “They couldn't articulate what they wanted, and I paid the price in scope creep”
- “My gut told me to walk away, but I didn't listen”
Sure, when we share the story, we don't just laugh about them, we carry them. We remember how it questioned our instincts and the hours we can't get back.
Three lessons that guide my brand and leadership now
1. Building from values, not algorithms
When I said no to this client, it wasn’t because of metrics. It was because the work didn’t feel like a match for the direction The Mindful Facilitator is heading. Or for the kind of founder experience we want to co-create.
We’re told over and over to “trust the data” or “follow the funnel”. But there's a deeper kind of data that lives in your body, the clarity that comes from knowing who you are, what you believe in, and where you're going.
Trust intuition over urgency
Sure, urgency is LOUD! But leadership is quiet and often sounds like a small ‘no’ in the moment of pressure. So you can hold space for a bigger yes later.
As founders we feel the pressure to:
- say yes
- land and the client
- secure the income
- prove momentum.
Yet every time I’ve overridden my intuition, it’s cost me more in the long run. Everytime I’ve honored it?
The right fit project landed within the week.
That’s the real ROI of alignment.
Brand clarity protects your energy
When your brand is clear, you:
- Spend less time explaining yourself
- Attract aligned clients naturally
- Avoid wasting energy on those who were never meant to be in the room
Clarity doesn't just guide your marketing, it protects your momentum. It becomes a boundary in itself. So you can keep fulfilling the purpose of why you built your business to begin with.
The clearer you are in how you speak, show up and stand for your purpose, the less energy you need to leak to prove your value. You stop chasing and start attracting.
The work that flows in, feels effortlessly lighter, more fun and most importantly aligned.
Reflection: where are you saying “yes” to work you’ve outgrown?
If your calendar feels heavy, if your energy feels pulled in the wrong direction, pause and ask:
“Does my brand still reflect where I’m going?”
You don’t need every answer today, but clarity begins with the willingness to look.
If this resonates and you're curious what this could look like in your business, book a free 30 minute discovery. No hard sell, just a clear conversation.
“When your brand is built from alignment, the right work finds you”.
